My daily practice now includes reading a few favorite blogs over my second mug of coffee. This morning I found this at Successful-Blog…
Liz Strauss writes: People will tell you that you’re not good enough. Are you going to believe them?
They’ll tell you that it can’t be done. It will take too long. It will cost too much …
too much time, too much money, too much of what you ain’t got.
Will you believe that too?
I’m thinking not…
A couple years ago I wrote out and shared with a friend my dreams and goals for the next phase of my life. I felt safe in sharing — we were, after all, good friends talking over coffee. 
Her reaction to my dreams was: Oh my. How old are you? What makes you think you’ll have enough time to even get started? Do you think you’ll ever have the money? The skills? What about the competition? You’d better get started pretty quick!
To which I said: I’m not old until I know how long I get to live. (Then I’ll have a measuring stick on my age.) I’m a mom whose kids have grown and married and have lives of their own. My husband encourages me to retire now from our business and pursue the dreams I’ve put on the lower shelves of my life. I may not even be half-way through my life. Why ever would I quit living! Or planning! Nope… I plan to live every day of my life.
I have enough stumbling questions of my own without entertaining someone else’s misgivings about me.
Still… I do question and consider. Don’t you? Last year I asked myself Who do you compete with? Maybe it’s time to rethink that question… especially after reading all your wonderful comments to my last post….
Quirky Artist sent us this video on genius and creativity. Speaker and writer Elizabeth Gilbert begins by asking us the same questions. Has anyone ever said to you…? I think you’ll enjoy her quiet yet profound response. (You’ll need about twenty minutes to view it, nod and say Ah yes — I get that!)
I’ll answer others’ comments from last week one by one in my next few posts. You’ve shared so much to deal with all at once; each of you has inspired me to think further. Thanks.
Meanwhile, I’m doodling again. With words and with liquid pencils (graphite in a bottle) on a Canson watercolor pad.
The kitty is a wine bottle… There are more glasses on the tray near the coffee pot. Also strawberries and chocolate.
Help yourself. And thanks so much for coming by.
Barb
Who will you listen to? Nay-sayers or your inner voice? Must you care that others may not think you’re good enough?
Who walks in your shoes after all? (More on Shoes coming in a day or two…)
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I am “soooooo” blessed to be married to a woman who has the courage, passion, vision, and integrity to pursue her dreams while lifting others up in her pursuit. Thanks and love you. Wes (FYI – Barb’s husband)
Ahhhh… and a word from my husband! Thanks, honey.
Actually, we give each other space to pursue our own dreams, having worked side by side in business for over 25 years. I have wanted to devote time to my art and writing since high school. My parents and family had other ideas… see the post Childhood Dreams Fulfilled to read the rest of the story.
Barb,
Feeling that I was never “good enough” has haunted me all my life. It has inhibited me from doing a really good job at various enterprises. Your post (and Liz’s) really struck a chord with me when you used those exact words. The only enemy I have is ME. Sigh.
Carol
…as it has so many of us, Carol. My sisters and I have often discussed how we were taught to be humble, and while that’s a good thing, it can go too far. Humility does not embody self-deprecation. It’s my passion to show my own girls and their kids by my example how to pursue their own stuff while believing in and lifting others in the process.
You are not alone…
Barb, thanks. I am left with so many thoughts in my cupped hands, to polish and examine and exclaim over…
I am having some trouble with WordPress and TypePad – my comments go straight to their spam bin, so changing the email and URL and re-trying to thank you for these handful of thought gems in my hands; I will tuck these away and when I am ready, they will come out to help.
I have rescued your comments sent into the Spam Bin, Sonya — and thanks a bunch for continuing to persist. Looks like it’s straightened out now.
Your remark above — handful of thought gems… I will tuck away and when I am ready, they will come out to help — goes right into my own treasure box. Thank you!
Hi Barb – this is my last week of packing for my move on the 15th – just in time to almost get to the next blogging studio. I’m indulging by taking a look here and must respond to your comment about the negative remarks your “friend” made about your dreams. I have experienced that every time I make a decision to do something new in my life, no matter what it is, “friends’ come out of the woodwork to say, “What do you want to do THAT for?” All that means is that they are either threatened by whatever, or have zero imagination. Live your dreams. They are the best!
Thanks Adele. I think there’s a third reason people say these things… they simply speak before thinking it through. What you’re about to do has never occurred to them, or they have decided — maybe unconsciously — who you are by their standards. And for you to change and grow is just outside their realm of expectation for you.
In this case, my friend simply says whatever comes to her to say. She has even apologized before, and I love her as a person. So I’m learning to laugh.. a good lesson for me too. (And I have to ask myself if I’m banking on my expectations of her! Haha!)
Your moving day is closing in — praying for a smooth transition after much packing and planning.
Oooooh, reading this brings so much up from my subconscious……no, Barb and Carol, you indeed are not alone! I don’t believe people intend to put doubt into our minds….and actually, they can’t do it unless we allow them to do it. Of course, the ability to disallow it is an on-going study of HOW to disallow it! I love how you explained this, Barb….”they have decided who you are by their standards”……unfortunately part of the “human condition” for most. Do you know what word stood out on this thread the most for me? The word “enough”……it kinda goes along with other words like “should” or “should have”, doesn’t it?
Hey, those negative comments are my mantra. I’m no dummy, I learned my lessons well. And even though I limit time with certain people because of it, I still get those little jabs when I see them. But that feeling of not being good enough persists even though around them I hide it under a tough exterior.
But, I have always gone my own way in spite of it
Anita
…in spite of. That’s what makes you who you are, Anita. I admire — always have — those who get up off their circumstances and live in spite of…
And you know I admire you.
Wow — great insight Nita! You’re right… I had to go back and look where the word enough was used, and yep. That’s exactly what it sounds like. Nothingness. No substance whatever. Thanks!