Roses say romance… but does the romance outlast the rose?
Once upon a time, eighteen years or so ago, a young man won his love’s heart with a rose every Friday.
Oh, it wasn’t always a rose. Sometimes it was a dozen roses, sometimes a teddy bear. But always a gift, and always on Friday. And always with a note, “Will you have dinner with me?”
She had fallen in love with him long before the gifts began, when they had dated earlier. But circumstances had happened, and at this point, they were not a couple.
She liked getting the gifts, and the romance they promised. Yet she wondered how long both the gifts and the promise would last once she said, “Yes, I’ll have dinner with you.”
So for a while she said nothing………………………………
But before we finish the story…
My husband’s and my forty-five-year-romance is rarely conveyed by a dozen roses delivered as a matter of expectation for a holiday or anniversary, but by the little surprises that come just because – for no special reason.
It’s finding a note and little cartoon drawing put next to the coffee pot where my husband knows I’ll greet my morning.
It’s dinner out, sharing an entrée, two forks, one plate, two glasses of wine – his red, mine white.
It’s talking about the books we’re reading, sharing ideas, while sipping hot café mochas in a coffee shop anytime of day. Or just reading together, quietly, over our coffees.
It’s adventure – exploring places together. We can be hiking or biking, dressed in sweats or denim, have soup and salads for lunch, or a chunk of bread and cheese and a glass of red wine. Nothing need be fancy, or expensive. It’s the doing… together.
It’s his framing a snapshot of me, taken on one of those adventures, to hang above his desk, with this comment typed around the edges: When a special person touches our lives then suddenly we see how beautiful and wonderful our world can really be…
Enduring romance is an intimate discovering of life, together, through many ups and downs. It’s a mutual awareness of and sensitivity to each other, knowing there is no one else you’d rather be living it with.
…And back to the story…
Our daughter did eventually say yes to the young man’s dinner plans. This Saturday will be their 17th anniversary.
They’re in that process of discovering and enjoying life together. And he still gives her roses just because.
What is your idea of romance? Poetic or otherwise.
Please enjoy the coffee, have a seat, and think back…
Thank you for coming. 
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Lovely story!
Your marriage sounds wonderful…but I think we all know that from your many warm postings. It’s too bad that too few people, especially young people, do not realize the importance of romance and companionship to build lasting relationships. You couldn’t have said it better!
Barb,
This is a lovely post and endearing. I just loved what you wrote about marriage in the comments section on my last post too – romance is good.
My contest winner for “How we met” has just published a book called “The Science of Passion, the Art of Romance” and I am going to review it (Ken Tanner) when my copy arrives.
My fellow doesn’t do the little things but he works very hard and makes lots of beauty for us to live in and enjoy. He is frugal and I am generous…we make quite a team (although I do wish we went out for dinner more than a couple of times a year!) Maybe after I get back from Scotland we can add that to the list!
One of my kiddos wrote a fun piece about her dad today…
Thank you for sharing such a lovely post
Patricia´s last blog ..Thinking About My Dad
Congratulations on 45 years with such a wonderful man!
We celebrated our 40th two weeks ago. My original plan was a BIG party, with all of our family and friends, in our own yard. All of the people who are important to us . . . well, as happens, we couldn’t pull the party together. Two of our children, one sister, one brother had things that they couldn’t change, like school and a hospital visit, that kept them from coming. Other issues, too, so no party.
Hubby’s first thought was a cruise, just the two of us (now, that’s romantic!) but my health issues & doctor schedule didn’t give us enough time. He had a business meeting in NYC that he was planning to skip, but under the circumstances I told him to go ahead, and I’d go with him – thinking we’d have a nice dinner or something. He came up with two tickets, third row of the first balcony, for the Tony Awards! As well as a walk in Central Park that ended up at Tavern on the Green (another surprise) and two Broadway shows . . .
But even more important, he’s there when I need him, offering me an arm when we encounter stairs, Carrying things up and down the stairs for me to save me a trip, noticing even before I do when I’m tired and need to stop and rest.
In the end, it’s the little things that happen every day that really count. What could be more romantic than a man who is always there for you when you need him?
Thank, you Karol Grace.
I agree, Terro. Romance and companionship — my husband is after all, my best friend, and I am his. I sense this about you as well, from reading your blog and bio. Thank you very much.
Ah Patricia — you have your own lovely story to share. Thank you so much. Now, Broadway shows and dinner at the Tavern on the Green falls into exceptional category in my book. That, for me, beats a party any day. (But I am not a crowds person, so that makes sense, huh?)
And I couldn’t agree with you more about the little things. Those are, after all, what we live with day to day. His sensing and knowing and meeting your needs without your having to ask also rates an exceptional!
As we practice being grateful for the little things, those little things grow in our hearts, don’t they?
Thanks so much for coming in. Are you painting today?
Hi Barb. Well I finished my coffee 10 minutes ago. But, I’ll stay a minute longer. This post really tugged at my heart strings. I’m an incurable romantic and have experienced very few of these moments. Thank you for sharing this and keeping romance alive. Congrats to your daughter… and to you too!
Davina´s last blog ..365 Days & Still Blogging
Barb, after 32 years of marriage, I too am lucky enough to still have the romance. The unexpected flowers, the little notes near the coffeepot (yes, I get them too…LOL), but of late, the most romantic thing was opening my email on Friday afternoon and finding in it a photo which Michael had taken and then sent to me, of the new, painted mailbox, all mounted on the post.
You see, I finished painting the mailbox last week and he had hurt his wrist and couldn’t install the new posts and mount it. So I waited (outwardly patient, but inwardly yearning to view my creation outside and visible for all the world to see).
On Friday morning I said to him “What do you think the chances are of getting the new mailbox put up by Monday?”
His reply? “The chances are very good.”
Later that afternoon he said, “Have you checked your email?”
“No” I said.
“Go check your email”, he said.
“Why?” I said. (Typical)
“Just go check your email”, he said.
…and the rest as they say, is history…
Barb, this touches my heart so much that the only reply I can honestly give you would be by a phone call to you……parts of the “aging process” are too beautiful for words to share with strangers. We’ve been so blessed, haven’t we? All of it has been sequential “growth”……and God knows how valuable the journey has been. BTW, I love Elaina’s response.
Lots of Hallmark moments come to mind.
I always liked the idea that true love is falling in love with the same person over and over again.
I think shared experiences and tender moments over a life time underscore durable romance.
J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Sources of Insight is 10 Months Old
This is so beautiful – I think I am going to keep this as a cutting (in a manner of speaking), and show it to my man! Many more happy years to both of you!
Hi Patricia (of Patricia’s Wisdom). I chuckled over the going out to dinner more often. I’d like to go to a movie more than maybe once a year! So there’s always something, isn’t there? As it is, I watch videos when they come out. LOVE movies. Wes doesn’t. That’s okay… like you, I’ll take the stuff he gives and make do with what he doesn’t.
Your having a beautiful place to live, with a husband who works hard, being given a blessing to walk through Scotland — that’s all good!!! We find ourselves, not dependent, not independent — but interdependent. I like that a lot. (Now there’s a topic to explore. What think?)
Thanks so much for coming by… hope you got a cold water from the fridge.
Hi Davina. Your time comments warmed me… thank you. I shared them with my daughter…
Elaina. I love that story! (Not to mention how well you painted that mailbox!) Apparently your husband knows your love language (acts of service?). Congrats on your own 32 years.
Hi my favorite older sister Neets… okay, not older by much.
I know how closely yours and Jack’s relationship parallels ours. Different. Yet so alike… As you and I are so different and so alike.
You are ALWAYS in my thoughts early mornings over coffee, book, and journal. Though you can be in your out-door room all year round while I look at the snows sometimes.
Thanks for your loyalty, Neets… and you have mine.
Hi J.D. I love the points you made! Falling in love repeatedly is absolutely part of it! There IS NO STATUS QUO, and the recognition of something old to re-love, or something new to add to the love, is highly romantic! Thank you.
Hi Swati — thanks! A cutting indeed… like the rose. It’s a place to start, isn’t it? I wonder what your man would respond to? A “cutting” for my guy, at this phase in our lives, is a tall mug of Italian or French roasted coffee laced with Special Dark chocolate, whipped cream on top. (If he’s traveling, make that no whipped cream, a travel mug, and a straw.) He never fails to thank me after he’s finished — even if he’s on the road.
What’s the cutting your guy would love? (If it’s not too personal?)
Beautiful post and congratulations to all of you for your happily ever after relationships.
In answer to your question in regards to romance…… Being considered makes my heart sing
best wishes
Ribbon
Hi Ribbon. I don’t know about happily-ever-after. There are lots of unhappy moments — lonely moments — angry moments. The key is just what you said: considering folks. Considering the others’ perspective in an argument. considering a personality totally unlike your own, one that simply doesn’t get stuff the way you do. Considering what it is that DOES speak to him or her.
I agree — being thought of, or considered, based on ME, is the most loving thing my husband can do. And vice versa.
Make no mistake… some days a relationship is just work!
But in our case, the work has been worth it. Continues to be.
Thanks so much for coming by and sharing your thought.
Hi Barb. I’ve popped by again “Over Coffee” to tell you that I have nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger Award. I would love for you to share 7 interesting things about yourself if you decide to take me up on this offer. All the details are on my most recent post.
Barb,
This post brought tears to my eyes, but those of warmth and happiness. You are very lucky, as it seems your daughter is.
My older daughter is getting married in September. She’s been with her boyfriend for eight years. While they are very different, I think they’re great each other. They share a love of reading, history and can beat the pants off of anyone in our family at Jeopardy!
Thanks for this touching post and I hope you and husband celebrate many more years of contentment:~)
Sara´s last blog ..I’m a blogger and a winner!
Barb — stopped in for a frappacino and read this post. 2 great stories in one post. I also love some of the responses to it such as the story about the mail box. We just celebrated our 34th anniversary 6/21 — lots of ups and downs but still together.
Deb H.´s last blog ..Update/New Photos of Foster Horses
Thank you for yet another great story. Romance to me is understanding and showing appreciation.
Christopher´s last blog ..White Hibiscus 1 Glamour
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